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Outcast. Damn good film.

11 Jul

Imagine if Supernatural was set on a council estate in Scotland. Its much, MUCH better than that.

Cracking film.


Fish Custard is back. And in greater numbers.

8 Nov

Well, not in greater numbers actually.  Just felt like getting a Star Wars quote in there.

Anyway, Nighthawk & Dragon have now moved house and are all settled in to the new Fish Custard Towers.  Its alot smaller but it’ll do!  We just wanted to apologise for being so absent lately – it shall be swiftly remedied!

We’ve watched a few films lately that Nighthawk will be reviewing:

  • X-Men: First Class
  • Burke & Hare
  • Stakeland
  • F
  • Thor
  • Green Lantern

We’ve also played a few new games too.

So, time and work permitting, there’ll be alot more activity around here soon!







The Machine Girl – REVIEW

13 Jun


 Director: Noboru Iguchi

Writer: Noboru Iguchi

Stars: Minase Yashiro, Asami and Kentarô Shimazu



I FINALLY got around to watching The Machine Girl last night and I have to say, I don’t know why I put it off for so long!  As you may or may not all know, I’m rather partial to Japanese Splatterpunk films and The Machine Girl is a particularly good one. 

The basic story is that Ami’s brother, Yu, is being bullied by the local rich kid, Sho.  His father is the local head honcho of the Hanzo Hattori gang and he’s a rather nasty piece of work.  Sho and his gang bully Yu and his best friend Takeshi relentlessly and at the beginning of the film, are both killed by Sho’s gang.  Ami and Yu’s parents committed suicide a few years back after being accused of murder.  You never actually find out if they were guilty or not but ultimately it has meant that Ami has had to look after Yu so is naturally very protective.  After Yu’s murder, Ami naturally goes on a murdering rampage of revenge and along the way enlists the help of Takeshi’s parents.  They are reluctant at first but given time, start relish the idea of getting they’re own back on Sho and his family for their son’s untimely end. 

The gore in this film is just as you would expect for this genre – squirting arteries, messy loss of limbs and gloriously over the top death scenes.  Unlike some other films of this type, it’s very nicely shot and aside from the odd few death scenes, doesn’t feel at all cheaply made like some others do.  My particular favourite moment in this film is Sho’s mothers Drill Bra.  Utterly ludicrous, hilariously funny and just what you want in a good Splatterpunk film!  Another best bit for me is when Miki uses Ami’s chainsaw hand to replace her severed foot to take out one of the bad guys. Genius!



All in all, this is a well written film, the acting is just right and the acting is actually pretty good.  I’ve seen A LOT of Splatterpunk films and this one I would say is one of the better ones.  It’s got the same quality feel to it as Vampire Girl Vs Frankenstein Girl and Tokyo Gore Police so it feels polished but doesn’t take itself too seriously at all. 

So, if you like Japanese school girls running around taking revenge with a machine gun for an arm, then this is one for you!









REVIEW – Meatball Machine

31 May


Directors: Yûdai Yamaguchi, Jun’ichi Yamamoto

Writers: Yûdai Yamaguchi
Stars: Issei Takahashi, Aoba Kawai and Kenichi Kawasaki

Being a lover of Japanese Splatterpunk, I was looking forward to settling down in front of Meatball Machine with my cup of tea and a biscuit. I’d been meaning to watch it for a while after hearing that it was the feature length remake of a short film from 1999.

It’s essentially a film about the worst first date in history. Boy sees girl from afar, boy rescues girl from being raped by a co-worker, boy takes girl back to his flat the boy watches girl then being impregnated by a parasite from outer space and turned into a Necroborg who then goes rampaging around town. Our ‘hero’ then becomes in the words of one of the characters, ‘infested’, but with a difference. He seems to be able to resist the parasite trying to control his body and goes off in search of his girlfriend to try and stop her.

It’s got LOTS of gore (although less then I was expecting) and it’s obvious that the budget for this film went on the animatronics and costumes rather then the locations and camera work. But it works. The settings are abandoned railways sidings, grubby back streets and empty factories which work well with all the arterial blood splattering around. There are lots of slanty camera shots and shaky-cam moments, along with the inevitable subversive sexual references that are present in most Japanese splatter punk films

All in all, it’s a bit clunky, very low budget and in the beginning a bit hard to follow. But it’s fun, gory and totally mad. With some of the parasite animatronics reminiscent of The Thing and a plot similar lines as Akira, it entertaining, bloody and fun. Being a fan of films like Tokyo Gore Police and Vampire Girl VS Frankenstein Girl, I was perhaps expecting something a bit more polished with a few more laughs. To be fair, I probably won’t watch it again but I can think of worse ways to spend an hour and a half on a Sunday with a cuppa and biscuit!



La Horde – REVIEW

29 May


Directors: Yannick DahanBenjamin Rocher

Writers: Arnaud BordasYannick Dahan

Stars: Claude PerronJean-Pierre Martins and Eriq Ebouaney


My best mate has been hassling me to watch this since it was released in 2009. I’m ashamed to say that it’s taken me until now to get around to it!  The main reason for that is that recently, along with vampires, I’ve grown weary of zombies.  It shames me to say that, being a lover of all such things, but I was starting to feel that the whole genre was getting a little stale.

How wrong I was.

La Horde is a brilliant film.  It’s violent, gory, savage and rankles the nerves.  It’s got bent cops, malevolent gangsters and fast zombies.   It is subtitled so it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but there’s not all that much dialogue so you won’t miss anything having to read the translation.

After a slow 5 minutes at the beginning, you’re thrown straight into the violence as our 4 characters you meet in the beginning are on their way to a dilapidated town block armed to the teeth.  You soon learn that they are cops bent on revenge after the murder of one of their own, Rivoallan.  (The same directors did a short called Rivoallan in 2008).  It goes very wrong, very quickly for both sides and the 2 warring factions are soon having to work together to survive as the apartment block is surrounded by the walking dead.

The zombies in questions aren’t your run of the mill Romero zombies – these guys are fast, 28 Days Later zombies.  These have always scared the hell out of me and makes for a glorious tension all the way through the film.

My only niggles would be that although you know the ‘bad guys’ are gangsters, you never find out what their game is~: drug dealers, arms dealers, money laundering – who knows?  You also never find out why or what has been turning people into the walking dead either.  Or what city in France is under siege. But none of that really matters or bothered me when I watched this film.

Lastly, my biggest beef with this film is that no-one, at any point, notices that a head shot finishes off any rampaging infected in this film.  They pump one guy full of round after round near the beginning of the film and it’s not until the lead gangster takes his head off with a shotgun that he dies.  Yet no-one remembers that or twigs.  Poor zombie awareness I say!

All in all, this is a fantastic zombie film, brilliantly acted, beautifully shot and gory as hell.  If you love your zombies a la 28 Days Later, you’ll love this.  If you hate subtitled movies, you probably won’t, but give it a go anyway – you won’t be disappointed!



REVIEW – Zombie Women of Satan

29 May

The excellent Pervo the Clown aka Warren Speed


Directors: Steve O’BrienWarren Speed

Writers: Seymour Leon MaceSteve O’BrienWarren Speed

Stars: Warren Speed, Seymour Mace, Victoria Hopkins and Victoria Broom

The title of this film alone was enough to get me to watch it – how could I resist?! That and the fact that it’s a British made movie with zombies and a real life freak show burlesque group. What more could you possibly need out of a film?!  After having just watched Zombie Apocalypse (and being more than a little disappointed) I wasn’t actually holding out much hope for this one.  I was soon to be delightfully mistaken!

It starts out with the freak show burlesque group, Flesharama going off to do an interview on a remote farm for an internet site run by the bizarre Tycho Zander and his family.  It doesn’t take long for the farm to over run with nymphet zombies, all thanks to Tycho’s father, Henry.  Who, by the way, also keeps Tycho’s randy mother chained to a wall in his ‘lab’ where he does all his experimenting on the horde of nubile young ladies that live up in the big house.

You then find out that Skye, the lead singer in a rock bank and tagging along with Flesharama, lost her sister to the Tycho cult years ago and is determined to get her back.  So, the rag-tag bunch set out to rid the farm of topless zombie women and find Skye’s sister, Rachel.  Much hilarity and gore ensues, of course and although the plot is familiar in its course, it had me in stitches a lot of the time.  Pervo the Clown and Johnny Dee Hellfire are a joy to watch and some of the names they call each other hare hilarious!  In my opinion, every zombie film should have two bickering Geordies!

There’s plenty of gore, although being on a tight budget, most of the violence is off camera and we only get to see the aftermath.  But that’s OK.  They obviously spent a lot of time and effort getting the feel of this film right and it doesn’t disappoint.  My only negative would be Skye and her abducted sister plot doesn’t really feel like it should be in the film at all.  Her acting doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the cast and can feel really quite wooden at times.  But seeing as this was the first film for the whole cast, it’s a teeny, tiny negative and doesn’t detract at all from the film.

There’s plenty of gore, plenty of swearing and plenty of boobies in this film as well as comedy.  Shaun of the Dead its not but it’s still hilarious and really quite polished for a debut film.  Seriously, go and rent it – if you like comedy, zombies. Geordies and boobs, this is the one for you!




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